How Long Do You Want To Wait

You Must Realize That Honorary Degrees Are Given Generally To People Whose Sat Scores Were Too Low To Get Them Into Schools The Regular Way. As A Matter Of Fact, It Was My Sat Scores That Led Me Into My Present Vocation In Life, Comedy.

It Looks Different When You're Sober; I Thought I Had Twice As Much Furniture.

The Body Of A Young Woman Is God's Greatest Achievement...of Course, He Could Have Built It To Last Longer But You Can't Have Everything.

Money Brings Some Happiness. But After A Certain Point, It Just Brings More Money.

Once You Start Compromising Your Thoughts, You're A Candidate For Mediocrity.