How Long Can You Tread Water?

The Beautiful Thing About Older People Is Their Ability To Cut The Fat Off Of Conversation. When They Talk, They Don't Go On Forever And Ever. They Say What They Have To Say, And That's It. That Was My Grand Dad. Some Of The Things He Said Stunned Me, But His Words Were Logical. I'll Never Forget Them.

In Spite Of The Seven Thousand Books Of Expert Advice, The Right Way To Disciplne A Child Is Still A Mystery To Most Fathers And...mothers Only Your Grandmother And Genghis Khan Know How To Do It.

My Mother Was An Authority On Pig Sties. This Is The Worst Looking Pigsty I Have Ever Seen In My Life, And I Want It Cleaned Up Right Now.

Fatherhood Is Pretending The Present You Love Most Is Soap-on-a-rope.

What's Your Name Again? That's Right. I'm So Glad You Know Your Name.