How Can I Die? I'm Booked.

In Show Business The Key Word Is Honesty. Once You've Learned To Fake That, The Rest Is Easy.

I've Been A Straight Man For So Many Years That From Force Of Habit I Repeat Everything. I Went Out Fishing With A Fellow The Other Day And He Fell Overboard. He Yelled, Help! Help! Help! So I Said, Help? Help? Help? And While I Was Waiting For Him To Get His Laugh, He Drowned.

Being An Actor Is Easy, Just Picture Someone In A Room And You Outside Waiting For Your Cue To Go In. Elliot Gould's Been Trying That For Forty Years.

If You Were Married To Marilyn Monroe, You'd Cheat With Some Ugly Girl.

There's An Old Saying, 'life Begins At Forty.' That's Silly. Life Begins Every Morning You Wake Up.