Horse Racing Is Waning In Popularity.

I'm Just A Person Trapped Inside A Woman's Body.

I'm Pretty Equal Opportunity When It Comes To Issues To Joke About.

Turkeys Know Their Names, Come When You Call, And Are Totally Affectionate. They're Better Than Teenagers.

Laundry's Easier When You Live Alone. Fifteen Minutes Before A Date, Put 'em On, Dry 'em With A Hair Blower.

When I Played The Sahara Hotel In Las Vegas On New Year's Eve, I Got To Bring Wiley, My 85-pound Black Lab. He's Responsible For My Favorite New Year's Memory Of All: At The End Of The Show, He Ran Onstage And Then Out Across All The Tables In The Showroom, Sending Champagne Glasses And Gamblers Flying.