Horse Racing Is Waning In Popularity.

I Pray If I Ever Find Out I Have Only About Three Minutes To Live It's During A Basketball Game, Because Then I'll Have, What, 10, 12 Years To Live?

I've Never Been Able To Write For Stand-up.

You Know, If You Need 100 Rounds To Kill A Deer, Maybe Hunting Isn't Your Sport.

My Brother Is Gay And My Parents Don't Care, As Long As He Marries A Doctor.

There Are Many Comedians Who Are Afraid To Work Outside The Coasts And The Casinos Because They're Afraid They'll Bomb.