Hey! Jack The Wanker! Over Here! I

I Decided To Deflect Her Attitude By Giving A Long, Southern Answer. I Come From People Who Know How To Draw Things Out. Annoy A Southerner, And We Will Drain Away The Moments Of Your Life With Our Slow, Detailed Replies Until You Are Nothing But A Husk Of Your Former Self And That Much Closer To Death.

I Envisioned Huge Piles Of The Elf Hotel Flying Off The Belt, Taking Down Everybody In Sight. I Had Seen Pictures Of That Elf Hotel - It Had Sharp Candy-cane Spires That Could Easily Impale Someone. If Anyone Was Ever Going To Be Killed By An Elf Hotel, It Would Be My Parents.

She Had Always Thought Applying To College Would Be Exciting. Living Away From Home, Meeting So Many New People, Learning New Things, Making A Few Poor Life Desicisons.

No One In History Had Ever Done Less And Yet Been So Wrong.

Harry Potter Achieved A Very Special Act Of Actual Magic: It Made It Completely Acceptable For An Adult To Carry Around, Read And Enjoy A Childrens Book.