Here's What I Knew About Doing A

Right Now, My Job Is That I'm Like An Ambulance Chaser. I've Got To Look For Movies With White Guys Falling Out Of Them.

Anything You Can Suck At Should Make You Nervous.

I Don't Write Jokes First. I Write Down Topics. I Think Of What I Want To Talk About, And Then I Write The Jokes - They Don't Write Me... And Even If You Don't Think It's Funny, You Won't Think It's Boring. You Might Disagree, But You'll Listen. And Maybe Even Laugh As You Disagree.

If You Live With A Single Parent, You Don't See Compromise. You Witness A Grown Person Living In A World Where They Do What They Want To Do. When You Are Raised By Two Parents, You Are Constantly Watching Compromise Take Place. Just By Observing That, It Made Me A Better Person.

You Know The World Is Messed Up When The Tallest Man In The Nba Is Chinese, The Best Golfer Is Black, And The Best Rapper Is White.