Have You Ever Noticed That The Lawyer

So About 80 Years After The Constitution Is Ratified, The Slaves Are Freed. Not So You'd Really Notice It Of Course; Just Kinda On Paper. And That Of Course Was At The End Of The Civil War. Now There Is Another Phrase I Dearly Love. That Is A True Oxymoron If I've Ever Heard One: "civil War." Do You Think Anybody In This Country Could Ever Really Have A Civil War? "say, Pardon Me?" (shoots Gun) "i'm Awfully Sorry. Awfully Sorry."

The Following Statement Is True. The Previous Statement Is False.

As Much As I Love My Family, I Enjoy It When The House Is Empty, Because Then I Know I'm Truly Alone, As We All Are On The Planet, After All. Every Atom In Us Is Originally From A Star. And During My Moments Of Aloneness, I'm Most Mindful Of That; That I'm Just Another Group Of Matter Randomly But Wonderfully Arranged. That's When I Feel My Immortality.

Tell People An Invisible Man In The Sky Created All Things, They Believe You. Tell Them What You've Painted Is Wet, They Have To Touch It To Believe.

They Say That Instead Of Cursing The Darkness, One Should Light A Candle. Nothing Is Mentioned, Though, About Cursing A Lack Of Candles.