Hating The Yankees Is As American As

Hollywood Likes To Boast That It Can Elevate The National Conscience.

Reagan's Approach Will Achieve One Of The Basic Goals Of The Conservative: Things Remain Basically The Same. The Rich Stay Rich And The Poor Stay Poor, Or Even A Little Poorer.

Why Do You Think The Lottery Is So Popular? Do You Think Anybody Would Play If The Super Payoff Was A Job On The Night Shift In A Meat-packing Plant? People Play It So If They Win They Can Be Rich And Idle. Like I Told You Years Ago - If Work Is So Good, How Come They Have To Pay Us To Do It?

When I Conducted A Beer-rating Session Last Year, I Wrote That Most American Beers Taste As If They Were Brewed Through A Horse. That Offended Many People In The American Beer Industry, As Well As Patriots Who Thought I Was Being Subversive In Praising Foreign Beers. I Have Just Read A Little-known Study Of American Beers. So I Must Apologize To The Horse. At Least With A Horse, We'd Know What We're Getting.

Strict Gun Laws Are About As Effective As Strict Drug Laws...it Pains Me To Say This, But The Nra Seems To Be Right: The Cities And States That Have The Toughest Gun Laws Have The Most Murder And Mayhem.