Gross Ignorance Is 144 Times Worse Than

Politicians Are Like Ships: Noisiest When Lost In A Fog.

One Of The Troubles Of The Day, Observes Mr. C.n. Peac, Is That Once We Came Upon The Little Red Schoolhouse, Whereas Now We Come Upon The Little-read School Boy.

Football Season: The Only Time Of The Year When A Man Can Walk Down The Street With A Blond On One Arm And A Blanket On The Other Without Encountering Raised Eyebrows.

Middle Age Is When Your Old Classmates Are So Grey And Wrinkled And Bald They Don't Recognize You.

I Don't Stutter When I Talk To God. He Loves Me.