Great, As Long As You're Happy

People Talk To Old People Like They're Children.'oh You're Very Old Aren't You?' Yeah I'm Old. I'm Not Stupid.

I Don't See My Show As A Stepping Stone To Something Else Like Some People, Who Get A Job Then Have A Foot Out The Door Looking For Their Next Job.

Is It Really That Important? It's Just Television, For God's Sake. It's Not Medicine Or Something.

I Do A Show. It Comes On Late At Night On Tv. And If That Means I'm A Late-night Talk Show Host, Then I Guess I Am, But In Every Other Regard I Resign My Commission, I Don't Care For It.

Scientists Say Over The Next Hundred Years, The Coast Of California Will Sink Almost Five Feet. So The Presidential Candidates Need To Do Something. Mitt Romney Is Conflicted. On One Hand, He Denies That Global Warming Exists. But If California Is Under Water, He Would Definitely Win The Next Election.