Generally I Don't Like Traveling Around Saying

All My Life's About Is Cracking Up People And Them Cracking Me Up And Trying Not To Think About Dying. That Doesn't Cost Very Much Money.

Though We May Not Desire To Detect Fraud, We Must Not, On That Account, Endeavor To Be Insensible Of It, For, As Cunning Is A Crime, So Is Duplicity A Fault, And If Men Dread Knaves, They Also Despise Fools.

Most Men Will Go Farther To Give Advice Than To Follow Their Own Opinion.

I'm A Huge Sports Fan But Have No Interest In Minutiae. I Don't Remember Who Won Super Bowls Five Years Ago Or Listen To Sports Talk Radio.

You Ever See 'the Dating Game'? That's A Weird Game Show. The Prize On That Show: Another Contestant. Talk About Cheap.