Gas Is Getting So Expensive I'm Gonna

Women Need Food, Water, And Compliments That's Right. And An Occasional Pair Of Shoes.

I've Told Michael Jackson Jokes. If You Got Really Technical, You Could Say Those Are Jokes About Child Molestation. You Could, If You Got Technical. A Lot Of This Is Just Selective Outrage Because Honestly, The Audience Are The Ones That Tell Us That Something Shouldn't Be Spoken. The Audience Lets Us Know. And I've Never, In My Almost 30 Years Of Being A Comedian, Seen A Comedian Continue To Tell A Joke That The Audience Doesn't Respond To. I've Never Seen It.

My Mother Is The Kind Of Woman You Don't Want To Be In Line Behind At The Supermarket. She Has Coupons For Coupons.

Here's What I Knew About Doing A Play: I Knew It Would Make Me A Better Actor.

Eddie Murphy Is To Comedians What Nicki Minaj Is To Spanx.