Gas Is Getting So Expensive I'm Gonna

I Like Talking About Subjects That Aren't Funny In The First Place And Making Them Funny. So Anything Down And Depressing Is Something I'll Talk About.

All People Naturally Hate. My Kid Bites People Now. I Didn't Teach My Kid To Bite Anybody. Kids Say Mean Stuff. Only Through Love Do We Get This Evil Out Of Them. Only Through Love And Structure And Discipline Do They Not Hate. The Kids That Hate Didn't Learn Anything, That's The Problem.

Is America Ready For A Black President? Well, I Say We Just Had A Retarded One. When Did Being Black Become A Bigger Deterrent Than Being Retarded?

Not A Harvard-type Education, Just A Not-sticking-up-a-liquor-store-type Education.

Stand-up Comedy Is Like The Lowest Medium In All Of Show Business In Levels Of Respect.