For The Majority Of The Time, I

I'm An Optimist - I Feel Like An Amazing Part Of Life Is That At Any Moment.

Really Good Comedians, You Know, When They Go On Stage, They Don't Really Care What The Audience - They're Fearless, You Know? They're So Comfortable That They Don't Care. They Don't Have That Neediness Where They Need The Laughs.

For The Majority Of The Time, I May As Well Have Been Just A Really Tan White Kid. You Know, I May As Well Have Just Been, Like, A Fat Kid.

She Broke Up With Me. Didn't Really Tell Me Why. Luckily When You're The Guy, You Can Just Tell People She's Crazy. 'hey, Tom, I Heard You And Lucy Broke Up.' 'yeah, Man. Turns Out, She's Crazy.' That's What They Always Do On Entourage.

My Dad Grew Up Basically In A Hut In Taiwan Without Enough Food To Eat. And Within One Generation His Son In America Gets To Do A Comedy Show About Whatever He Wants.