Love: You Can't Start It Like A

President Obama Is In China. Also In China Is Evil Russian Dictator Vladimir Putin. They're Both In China At The Same Time. It's Like Running Into Your Ex-girlfriend On Vacation.

Mitt Romney, Two-time Republican Presidential Hopeful, Boxed Former Heavyweight Champion Of The World Evander Holyfield For Charity. It Was A Horrible Moment When Romney Bit Off Holyfield's Other Ear.

Pamela Anderson Is A Great Dancer Considering She Can't See Her Feet.

President Bush Is Going To Establish Elections There In Iraq. He's Going To Rebuild The Infrastructure. He's Going To Create Jobs. He Said If It Works There, He'll Try It Here.

Over The Weekend, Of Course, Down There In Washington, D.c., They Had The Big White House Correspondents' Dinner. Do You Know Who Was Really Funny? President Obama. So Funny, In Fact, He Has Already Been Promised 'the Tonight Show' In Five Years.