First Off, I Am 35 Years Old,

I Have What Doctors Call A Little Bit Of A Weight Problem.

I Have A Tendency Toward The Pleasures Of The Flesh. It's A Battle For Me, As Far As Weight And Things Like That. But I'm Curbing Them Because I Want To Continue To Do Comedy, And The Two Don't Mix. So I Try To Fight Those Demons.

The Point Is, How Do You Know The Guarantee Fairy Isn't A Crazy Glue Sniffer.

First Off, I Am 35 Years Old, I Am Divorced, And I Live In A Van Down By The River.

In The Land Of The Skunk The Man With Half A Nose Is King!