Facebook Is Like Jail, You Sit Around

On The Set Of An Independent Film You Can Tell That Nobody Is Doing It For The Money. Everyone Is There Because They Love The Script. A Smaller Budget Sort Of Unifies Everyone; It's A Real Team Effort And That's Amazing. But These Opportunities Just Don't Present Themselves That Often For Me, So Basically Any Chance I Get To Do Something Different I Jump On It.

Once A Person Has A Child, The First Question Everyone Asks Is: "are You Going To Have More Children?" But It Basically Means: "are You Going To Have More Sex With Your Wife In The Hopes Of Having Children?

I Hate When New Parents Ask Who The Baby Looks Like. It Was Born 15 Minutes Ago, It Looks Like A Potato

In Junior High P.e., I Was Way Too Shy To Take A Shower In Front Of The Other Kids. It Was A Horribly Awkward Time - Body Hair, Odors... So I'd Go From My Sweaty Shirt Back Into My Regular Clothes And Have To Continue The Day.

I Speak As Much Spanish As Anyone Who Has Grown Up In Southern California Or Texas Or Arizona. I Had My Three Years Of High-school Spanish And A Couple Of Semesters In College.