Everything I Do On Stage, I Made

Famous People Are Deceptive. Deep Down, They're Just Regular People. Like Larry King. We've Been Friends For Forty Years. He's One Of The Few Guys I Know Who's Really Famous. One Minute He's Talking To The President On His Cell Phone, And Then The Next Minute He's Saying To Me, Do You Think We Ought To Give The Waiter Another Dollar?

I Used To Play Golf. I Wanted To Be A Better Player, But After A While I Realized I'd Always Stink. And That's When I Really Started To Enjoy The Game.

Eddie Fisher Married To Elizabeth Taylor Is Like Me Trying To Wash The Empire State Building With A Bar Of Soap.

It's Very Sweet To Have People Say Nice Things About You, And I Always Accept That.

An Insult Comic Is The Title I Was Given. What I Do Is Exaggeration. I Make Fun Of People, At Life, Of Myself And My Surroundings.