Everything I Do On Stage, I Made

You Know What's Funny To Me? Attitude.

People Think Being In Your Seventies Means Sitting Around In A Chair With A Blanket Over Your Legs, Drooling.

I Always Rib People, But Nobody Ever Gives Me A Hard Time. I Don't Know Why. Maybe They're Afraid Of What I Might Say. There's Probably A Lesson In That Somewhere, But I Don't Know What It Is.

I've Never Been Able To Tell Jokes. In The Beginning Of My Career I Did Impressions And Jokes Like Any Other Comedian, But I Was Never Very Successful Because I Did It Poorly. So I Started To Talk To The Audience And Started Talking About The Atmosphere Around Me And Started To Become Angry, Not In A Mean-spirited Way, But In A Fun Way - And My Attitude Developed From There.

Regis Philbin Is Very Successful In His Own Right. We Have A New Thing Where He Have Chairs And We Sit And Talk To Each Other About My Career And His Career. It Works Pretty Well If I Do Say So.