Everybody's Funny In Different Ways.

I Always Wanted To Write As Much As Perform.

I Feel Most Empires Fell When They Started To Act Human, But Then Look At Russia. They Kept A Pretty Strong Hand, And They Fell From Afghanistan Alone Because Afghanistan Is The Graveyard Of Empires. I Guess You Just Can't Sustain It.

I'm Just Another Guy Who Thinks He's Smarter Than He Is, In A Long Line Of Them.

I've Been To Japan, I've Been To China, I've Been To Africa, I've Been To The Middle East, I've Been To Europe A Little Bit. I've Never Been To South America.

What I Love About Comedians Is Their Instinct Is Always To Go Against The Grain. Their Whole Existence Is Pointing Out The Elephant In The Room. Already You Can See Audiences Are Pushing Back, But We're The Ones Who Really Can Take It More Than Anybody.