You Can Wake Up Every Day And

I'm Sick And Tired Of People Saying That Taking Drugs Is A Sickness. When You Put Something Of Your Own Free Will In Your Own Body Knowing That It's Harmful Against The Body, It's Against The Law And All It Will Do Is Lead You Down The Path Of Destruction, That Is A Weakness.

I Started In The Lowest League In Baseball, And I Worked My Way All The Way Up To Triple A And Then To The Big Leagues. I Never Reached The Level That I Thought I Would Reach As A Player. But That's The Way It Goes. So Then I Started From The Bottom As A Manager, And I Worked My Way Up To Managing The Dodgers For 20 Years.

One Time I Was Doing A Speech To A Group Of Kids, And Just Before I Get There, I See This Little Kid Crying. I Found Out They Just Lost A Game, And He Was The Losing Pitcher. I Went Over There, Put My Arm Around Him, And Said, 'what Are You Crying For? When Major League Players Lose, They Don't Cry.'

I Didn't Even Graduate From High School. I've Never Told Anybody That Before. I Got My Degree Later, When I Was In The Army.

The Gym Teacher's Name Was Mr. Caruso. Mr. Caruso Did Not Speak English. He Spoke 'gym.' One Day I Was Playing Basketball And Mr. Caruso Told Me I Would Have To Get An Athletic Supporter. He Didn't Express Himself Exactly That Way, Though. He Said, 'hey, You, One Day You're Gonna Go Up For A Rebound And The Family Jewels Aren't Gonna Go With Ya.' I Had No Idea What He Was Talking About. Next Day I Showed Up For Practice Without My Watch And My Mezuzah. He Said, 'did Ya Take Care Of The Family Jewels?' I Said, 'i Left 'em In My Locker.' Took Us A Half Hour To Revive Mr. Caruso.