Every Problem Solved Is A Problem Made.

I Look At Life Like A Big Book And Sometimes You Get Half Way Through It And Go 'even Though I've Been Enjoying It, I've Had Enough. Give Us Another Book.'

I Know Who I Am. Bloody Hell, I'm Getting Enough Bills For Karl Pilkington So I Hope I Am Him, 'cos If I'm Not, I Have No Idea Who I'm Paying For

I Say Have The Night And Give People The Awards, But Why Do People Want To Watch People Win Awards? What Are They Getting Out Of It? I Don't Quite Get It. Because They Have Awards All The Time; There's Awards For Butchers, The Best Meat Served, But They Don't Televise It. I Don't Know Why They Do It For Films Or Tv Programs.

Stop Looking At The Walls, Look Out The Window.

If You'd Have Told Me Five Years Ago That I'd Have Done All This - Two Books, Some Television And Everything - I'd Panic, I'd Be Scared.