Happiness Is Like A Cake: Have Too

When You've Been On A Programme Called 'an Idiot Abroad' Job Offers Aren't Exactly Flying In.

I've Been On The Planet For 40 Years Now, And I'm Still None The Wiser As To What It's All About Really. I've Never Worried About Life's Big Questions. People At My Age Sit About Pondering, 'why Are We Here?' The Only Time I Ever Asked Myself That Is When Suzanne Booked Us A Surprise Holiday To Lanzarote.

I Came Face-to-face With A Gorilla Which Was Quite Good, But It Was A 10-hour Trek In Bad Weather, Up Hills, Covered In Mud, With Mosquitoes Everywhere And When We Got There The Gorilla's Just Sat There Doing Nowt.

I Mean, I Don't Really Go Out At Night In Terms Of Noisy, Busy Places; I Prefer More Of A Quiet Corner Somewhere.

The Poorer People And Criminals Of Mexico Who Are Not Very Religious But Not Quite Atheists, Either, Worship Saint Death.