Every Parent Knows That For A Kid,

I Wasn't Really That Informed About The Two-year-old. Oh, I'd Read About Them, And Occasionally I'd See Documentaries On The Discovery Channel Showing Two-year-olds In The Wild, Where They Belong.

Sex After One Child Shows Down. After Twins... Ooh... I'll Tell You What It Is For Us. I'll Share It With You. Every Three Months. We Don't Plan It That Way. That's Just How It Works Out. It's The Weirdest Thing. You Know What I Do? Every Time I Have Sex, The Next Day I Pay My Estimated Tax. My Quarterlies Are Due. If It's Oral Sex, I Renew My Driver's License.

Every Parent Knows That For A Kid, The Car Is Chloroform.

Whenever I Get Down About Life Going By Too Quickly, What Helps Me Is A Little Mantra That I Repeat To Myself: At Least I'm Not A Fruit Fly.

If You Are Someone, You Know, With Fame, Whatever Amount, It's Good To Be Married To Someone Who's Not Impressed With That At All.