Every Election I Have To Hold My

The Hardest Diet I Was Ever On Was The One When I Was Fat. You Can Only Wear Fat Clothes, You Don't Feel Good, Your Sex Life Gets Damaged, You Don't Have Energy For Anything. It's Horrible.

I Used To Go To The Library All The Time When I Was Kid. As A Teenager, I Got A Book On How To Write Jokes At The Library, And That, In Turn, Launched My Comedy Career.

The Tv Season Is A Year-long Thing Now, And The Networks Are Starting To Look At It That Way, Thanks To Cable, Satellites, And Competition.

I Moved From Cleveland To L.a. With A Girlfriend, We Broke Up, And I Lived Out Of My Car For A Year And A Half, On The Road With Nothing On My Mind But Getting My Act Good Enough To Be On 'the Tonight Show.'

I've Got To Say That I Don't See Myself As Some Sort Of Political Type Like Alec Baldwin Or Barbra Streisand. I Don't Want To Come Across Like That. I'd Be Embarrassed If That Was The Way I Came Across.