"entertainers Of Faith," Funnyman Jim Gaffigan Isn't

Screaming. Did I Mention The Screaming? Screaming Is Usually Associated With Horror Films And Roller Coasters. This Is Why I Usually Look Like I've Just Watched A Horror Film On A Rollercoaster. Kids Love To Scream. Frightened, Happy, Bored. They Scream. I've Actually Learned To Love The Sound Of A Vacuum Cleaner. It's Just So Peaceful.

Gyms Are Always Packed. The Only Machine Available Is The One That Simulates The Gynecological Exam. You Know, The Sharon Stone Machine.

A Lot Of People Are Like, "you're Doing Commercials?" And I Honestly Feel Like Those Sierra Mist Commercials Are Better Than A Lot Of Sitcoms I Get Offered. It's Hard Work, And I'm Paid A Lot Of Money, And I Do It Because I Love The Soda.

I Was Still Rooting For Notre Dame.it's Like There's The Cultural Catholic Experience.

There Is This False Perception That Comedians Can Never Be Serious. It's Like From Like The Era Of Court Jesters.