E.t., Who Said To Phyllis Diller, You

Steven Spielberg's Mother, Who Said To E.t., I Don't Care Where You're From, You're Here And You're Gonna Get Bar Mitzvahed! Never Got A Dinner!

Lot, Who Said To His Wife As She Was Being Turned Into A Pillar Of Salt, Stop Shaking! Never Got A Dinner!

Sure, I've Gotten Old. I've Had Two Bypass Surgeries, A Hip Replacement, New Knees... I've Fought Prostate Cancer And Diabetes. I'm Half Blind, Can't Hear Anything Quieter Than A Jet Engine, And Take 40 Different Medications That Make Me Dizzy, Winded, And Subject To Blackouts. I Have Bouts With Dementia, Poor Circulation, Hardly Feel My Hands Or Feet Anymore, Can't Remember If I'm 85 Or 92, But... Thank God, I Still Have My Florida Driver's License!

Jacques Cousteau, The Last Man To See Jimmy Hoffa. Never Got A Dinner!

Billy Carter, Who Asked His Brother Jimmy, Do You Think You Could Get Me On The Gong Show? Never Got A Dinner!