E.t., Who Said To Phyllis Diller, You

Dean Martin's Great-great-uncle, Ebenezer Martin, Who Said To Eli Whitney, I See The Cotton, But Where's The Gin? Never Got A Dinner!

Pliny The Elder, Who When Rome Was Burning Requested Nero To Play You Picked A Fine Time To Leave Me, Lucille. Never Got A Dinner!

Alex Hailey, Who Traced His Roots All The Way To The Back Of The Bus. Never Got A Dinner!

Ninety Isn't Old. You're Old When Your Doctor Doesn't X-ray You Any More - He Just Holds You Up To The Light!

King Henry Viii, Who Said To His Lawyer, Forget The Alimony, I've Got A Better Idea. Never Got A Dinner!