Drown In A Cold Vat Of Whiskey?

I Have Been Advised By The Best Medical Authority, At My Age, Not To Attempt To Give Up Alcohol.

I Certainly Do Not Drink All The Time. I Have To Sleep You Know.

I Feel Like A Midget With Muddy Feet Had Been Walking Over My Tongue All Night.

Smile First Thing In The Morning. Get It Over With.

I Have A Poor Memory For Names; But I Seldom Remember A Face.