Don't You Expect A Rainbow Coming Out

You're On Stage And Because Stand-up Comedy Is One Of The Few Meritocracies In The Entertainment Industry, There's Some Kind Of - At Least For Me, There's Some Kind Of Idea Of Control.

I've Stayed In So Many Hotel Rooms That I'm Shocked If, When I Stay In A Hotel Room, The Hotel Phone Isn't On The Desk. Then I'm Like, "this Isn't A Real Hotel Room." If There's Not Outlets Next To The Desk, Or If They Have An Iphone Adapter For An Iphone 4, That's When I'm Sitting There Annoyed. I Understand That It's Ridiculous, But That's Just Me Spending Way Too Much Time In Hotels.

I'm A Guy Who Comes From A Small Town In The Midwest. It's Not In My Nature To Say The Most Explicit Things In Public.

Twitter Allowed Me To Talk About Parenting In Short Snippets And Find Out What I Really Wanted To Say About It, Which Is That I'm A Dad Who Had No Idea What He's Doing.

I Like To Stay In A Hotel Where It's A Dome Of Silence. I Can Sit In My Room And Do Nothing.