Don't Think This Has Taught Me A

(on Seeing A Former Lover For The First Time In Years) I Thought I Told You To Wait In The Car.

Nobody Can Be Exactly Like Me. Sometimes Even I Have Trouble Doing It.

I Have Three Phobias Which, Could I Mute Them, Would Make My Life As Slick As A Sonnet, But As Dull As Ditch Water: I Hate To Go To Bed, I Hate To Get Up, And I Hate To Be Alone.

I've Tried Several Varieties Of Sex. The Conventional Position Makes Me Claustrophobic, And The Others Either Give Me A Stiff Neck Or Lockjaw.

All My Life I've Been Terrible At Remembering People's Names. I Once Introduced A Friend Of Mine As Martini. Her Name Was Actually Olive.