Nobody Can Be Exactly Like Me. Sometimes

In My Lifetime I've Been To Bed With Men, Women, And Odd Pieces Of Furniture.

My Progress Reminded Me Of The Horses In The Whip. They Raced At The Limit Of Their Speed Directly Toward The Audience. But They Raced On A Treadmill Which Canceled Out Their Progress.

(on Seeing A Former Lover For The First Time In Years) I Thought I Told You To Wait In The Car.

I'll Come And Make Love To You At Five O'clock. If I'm Late, Start Without Me.

Whatever You Have Read I Have Said Is Almost Certainly Untrue, Except If It Is Funny, In Which Case I Definitely Said It.