Don't Mistake Being An Asshole For Being

I Believe It's In The Best Interests Of A Child To Be In A Stable Environment.

I Think It's Going To Take Three Or Four Generations Of Gay People Being Able To Get Married Before It Starts Feeling Less Like We're Going Through These Motions, That We're Aping A Heterosexual Institution.

Don't Move To Seattle And Write A Stupid Sex Advice Column. That's A Waste Of Time And You Need To Grow Up And Get Serious.

Oh, My God. I'd Be A Terrible Doctor. I Don't Like To Touch Other People. There's A Lot Of Gruesome Stuff In My Line Of Work To Feel Or To Admit. I'm Sure Everyone's Expecting Me To Say "proctologist," But Actually No, I Don't Want To Be A Proctologist. Probably Want To Be A Dentist, Because You Don't Have To Touch Much Of The Other Person's Body, Just Their Face Or Mouth.

Every Relationship You Are In Will Fail, Until One Doesn't