Donald Trump Has A Great Campaign Slogan:

The Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade Has New Balloons This Year Including The Pillsbury Doughboy Balloon And The First Openly Gay Balloon. Also The Thomas Tank Engine Balloon, And They Even Have The Ebola Nurse Balloon.

I Got A Call From My Mom Today, She Says, 'well, David, I See You Didn't Get The 'tonight Show' Again.'

But I Was Thinking About This, The Obamas Want To Adopt A Stray Dog From The Pound. And I Think That Is Admirable. I Believe The Last President To Bring A Stray Dog Into The White House Got Impeached.

Mary Keitany From Kenya Won The Women's Race At The New York City Marathon. You Can Tell She Was Fast Because Guys On The Street Didn't Even Have Time To Finish Their Catcalls.

The Campaign For The White House Is Heating Up With John Kerry Taking Heat For Throwing His Vietnam Medals Away, Getting A $1000 Haircut, And Wearing A 1970s Wig Known As 'the Leno.' There Are Really Two Sides To This Story. And America Can't Wait For Kerry To Present Both Of Them.