Donald Trump Has A Great Campaign Slogan:

Are You Getting A Big Kick Out Of The Enron Scandal? I Find This Interesting That Whenever A Big Crisis Starts, People Start Showing Up In Church. So, Ken Lay Shows Up In Church This Weekend. Church Officials Are Still Looking For The Collection Plates.

I Have Nothing Against The North Koreans But This Kim Jong Un Has Got A Screw Loose. A Member Of His Cabinet, His Security Minister, Nods Off, Falls Sleep. We've All Done It. Kim Jong Un Takes The Guy Out And Has Him Executed, Just For Just Falling Asleep. Oh, And He Was Also Deflating Footballs.

President Bush Announced That The War In Iraq Has Been Won. It's All Over, It's Been Won. I Believe This Would Be Bush's First Uncontested Victory.

Today Is Veterans Day. Thank You To All Our Men And Women Who Have Served The United States Armed Forces. In Honor Of Veterans Day We Are Marching Out A Few Jokes That Have Already Served.

Bill Murray Is On The Show Tonight. Next Week I'll Be Goggling 'foods That Improve Prostate Health.'