Do Whatever You Want To Do, Whenever

I Can Drink Like A Fish, Or At Least, Someone Born With Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.

I Don't Have A Type, Really. But I've Always Been More Attracted To Girls Who Yell Fire.

I'm Interested In Doing Some Acting In The Future, But It's A Distant Second To Stand Up.

I Don't Want To Wake Up With Cops Surrounding My Bed Tonight.

Charlie Sheen Called His Boss On 'two And A Half Men' A 'jew Ki**' And Expected To Go Back To Work. That’s Crazy. If You Could Do That And Keep Your Job, Then Everybody Would Do It.