Everyone Looks So Much Better When They

They're Making A Movie About Barack And Michelle Obama's First Date, Called 'southside With You,' And The Producers Say They've Already Cast Someone To Play Young Barack Obama. Now, I'm Not Saying The President Has Aged A Lot But That Young Actor Is Morgan Freeman.

Officials From The Soccer Organization Fifa, Which Decides Which Cities Get To Host The World Cup, Are Accused Of Accepting Bribes When Making Their Decision. Of Course The Toughest Part For The Soccer Officials Was Taking Bribes Without Using Their Hands.

Joe Biden Was Spotted With A Bruise On His Face That Was Apparently Caused By His Dog. I Guess They Collided When They Both Went After The Same Tennis Ball.

You've Never Had A Job That You Thought Was Secure. You Don't Think The Tonight Show Is Risk Free. Especially When You Saw What Happened With Your Buddy Conan O'brien. There Is Always A Plan B.i Am Ready To Apply To The Post Office.

Listening Is More Important Than Talking. Just Hit Your Mark And Believe What You Say. Just Listen To People And React To What They Are Saying.