Everyone Looks So Much Better When They

If You're A Sports Fan You Realize That When You Meet Somebody, Like A Girlfriend, They Kind Of Have To Root For Your Team. They Don't Have A Choice.

The Heroic New York Doctor Who Caught Ebola Has Been Declared Ebola Free. President Obama Called The Doctor To Thank Him For His Selflessness And Compassion. Then To Be Safe, Obama Threw His Phone In A Trash Can And Lit It On Fire.

Thank You... Apple, For Adding A Camera To The Ipod Nano. Now It's Just Like The Iphone Except It Can't Make Calls. So Basically, It's Just Like The Iphone.

Ben Carson Actually Lost A Tooth. Which Explains Why He Said That Under His Leadership, Americans Would Be Entitled To 'life, Liberty, And The Purthuit Of Happineth.'

Rick Perry Said Donald Trump Is Unfit To Be President And Called For Him To Immediately Withdraw From The Race. Then He Said, 'and That's Coming From Me!'