Comedy Tends To Come Out Of Things

No One Is Thinking About You. They're Thinking About Themselves, Just Like You.

..we Were Always Taught, Instead Of Waiting To Be Swept Off Our Feet, To 'expect Little, Forgive Much'.

On Social Media People Tend To Show Off, And Post Their Most Attractive Picture, And Moments That Are Most Likely To Give Everyone Else Fomo (fear Of Missing Out). They Rarely Share The Moments When They Feel Down, Or When Things Have Gone Wrong And They Need Support.

I Had My Daughter By C-section, So Knew When And Where She Was Going To Be Born. I Got Freakishly Organized And Prepared A Group E-mail Birth Announcement. Unfortunately, I Accidentally Pressed Send All. I Then Had To Send Another E-mail Saying, "i'm Really Sorry But I Haven't Actually Had The Baby Yet." Then, When I Actually Did Have The Baby, I Felt Too Embarrassed To Send Another E-mail Saying, "i've Definitely Had The Baby Now."

The Corruption Of The Good By The Belief In Their Own Infallible Goodnes Is The Most Bloody Dangerous Pitfall In The Human Spectrum. Once You Have Conquered All Your Sins, Pride Is The One Which Will Conquer You. A Man Starts Off Deciding He Is A Good Man Because He Makes Good Decisions. Next Thing, He's Convinced That Whatever Decision He Makes Must Be Good Because He's A Good Man. Most Of The Wars In The World Are Caused By People Who Think They Have God On Their Side. Always Stick With People Who Know They Are Flawed And Ridiculous.