Comedy, Like Sodomy, Is An Unnatural Act.

I Don't Know Any Jokes, Which Is Embarrassing. I Wish I Did.

I Don't Enjoy Anything While I'm Doing It. I Enjoy Having Done Things, Though.

Sex Is Two Plus Two Making Five, Rather Than Four. Sex Is The X Ingredient That You Can't Define, And It's That X Ingredient Between Two People That Make Both A Man And A Woman Good In Bed. It's All Relative. There Are No Rules.

You Offer A Sincere Compliment On A Great Mustache And Suddenly She's Not Your Friend.

I Won't Eat Anything That Has Intelligent Life, But I'd Gladly Eat A Network Executive Or A Politician.