Comedy Is The Blues For People Who

I'll Probably Pay More Attention To The Musicians In The Pit Than The Stars Because They're The Closest You're Going To Get To Normal People In The Audience.

I Saw The Yearbook Picture. There Was Six Of Them! I Ain't Have Six Friends In High School, I Don't Have Six Friends Now! That's Three On Three With A Half Court.

White Man Makes Guns? No Problem. Black Rapper Says "gun"? Congressional Hearing.

For Me, Anything Goes When I Pick Up A Mike. I'm Not Trying To Hurt People - I Try Not To Get Too Personal - But I Look At Myself As A Reporter. If You Can Report On Anything That Has To Do With Pop Culture, Then Why Can't I Make Jokes About It? Yes, It Hurts. But I Figure That Laughter Sometimes Starts From Pain. You Might Wince, But Then I Know That I'm Doing My Job. The Only Thing I Can Do Wrong Is Not Be Funny.

Learn How To Cook. Read Books That Will Educate You. Get An Education. Get A Career. And Support Yourself. And Live In A Section Of Town That Isn't Conducive To Violence.