I'm A Nerd. I'm A Little Guy...

I See Guys Who Can't Make 10 Percent Of What I Make, And Yet They Have Four Bentleys, Three Houses, And Four Bodyguards.

You Know Those Guys That Go To The Strip Club At The Daytime? If You're At A Strip Club, And The Sun Is Out, You Got Some Problems!

I'll Go Back To Comedy Clubs When They Get A Real No-camera Policy, The Same Way They Did With Smoking.

Gas Is Getting So Expensive I'm Gonna Ride A Mexican To Work.

I Can See The Humor In Just About Any Situation. After I Lost My Dad, I Realized That None Of Us Should Take Things Too Seriously, Because Everything Except Death Works Itself Out.