Comedians Rarely Have Writers, And If You

I Love The Impatience Of New York... You Ever Had Somebody Not Ask You For Directions, But Demand Them? You're Just Innocently Walking Down The Street, You Hear A Horn, All Of A Sudden Some Guy's Like, 'holland Tunnel!!!' ...you Know, Like You Were Supposed To Fax This Guy Directions. Suddenly, You're Wasting His Time.

It's Strange How Interesting Your Dreams Are, But When Someone Tries To Tell You Their Dream You're Just Like "whatever! Why Don't You Send Me An E-mail So I Can Delete It?"

Comedians Kind Of Write What Comes To Them. You Can Give Yourself Little Assignments, But It's What Inspires You. So I Feel Like With Food, It Is A Passion Of Mine. It's Where My Sensibility Rests. I Love Topics That Are Universal, And I Love Stuff That Doesn't Alienate People.

I Talk Kinda Slow, Especially For The Northeast, So It Was A Way To Beat [would-be Hecklers] To The Punch.

I Should Clarify That Anyone That Goes Onstage And Makes Strangers Laugh Is Insane. So I Am Insane.