Column Writing Is Like Gas - It

Speed Focuses The Mind. It Cuts Through The Fog Of Drab Everyday Living And Keeps Us On Our Toes. Speed Works. Speed Saves Lives. Speed Is Good. And We Should Have More Of It, Not Less.

Like Many Men, I Can Never Find Anything That I'm Looking For, Even When I'm Actually Looking At It. In A Fridge, I Think Milk Is Actually Invisible To The Male Eye. And So, It Turns Out, Are Dirty Great Holes In The Fence.

The Suzuki Wagon R Should Be Avoided Like Unprotected Sex With An Ethiopian Transvestite

Biathletes Need To Eat 6.000 Calories A Day: Six Thousand! That's The Equivalent Of 2 Pounds Of Butter, 70 Slices Of Bread, 112 Eggs, 86 Tabs Of Yogurts, 28 Potatoes, 117 Biscuits And 21 Twix Bars. On That Basis, I Could Be An Olympic Biathlete!

Then There’s The Biggest Problem Of Them All – The Problem Of Being In An Audi Tt When You Are Not Called Angela. I Do Not Know Why It Can Be Driven By Only People Named Angela, But That’s A Fact And There’s Nothing We Can Do About It. If You Have A Tt And You Aren’t Called Angela, You Have The Wrong Car.