Chinese People Age Overnight.

If You Sit In A Bath Of Pineapple Chunks, It Can Kill You. That's Well Documented.

I've Been On The Planet For 40 Years Now, And I'm Still None The Wiser As To What It's All About Really. I've Never Worried About Life's Big Questions. People At My Age Sit About Pondering, 'why Are We Here?' The Only Time I Ever Asked Myself That Is When Suzanne Booked Us A Surprise Holiday To Lanzarote.

I've Never Won Many Awards, I Didn't Get Certificates For Swimming Or Anything.

I Came Face-to-face With A Gorilla Which Was Quite Good, But It Was A 10-hour Trek In Bad Weather, Up Hills, Covered In Mud, With Mosquitoes Everywhere And When We Got There The Gorilla's Just Sat There Doing Nowt.

If You’re Worrying About The Wrinkles On Your Bollocks I’d Say Your Life’s Pretty Good