Child Molesters Must All Think They've Got

I've Got A Kid In Africa That I Feed, That I Clothe, That I School, That I Inoculate For 75 Cents A Day. Which Is Practically Nothing Compared To What It Cost To Send Him There.

I’m Not A Religious Person; I Would Call Myself An Atheist. I Don’t Have A Good Story Behind It, I’m Just Reasonable.

I Don't Have Much Racial Stuff In My Act. And No One's Ever Really Threatened Me To My Face. Threats On The Internet Don't Bother Me So Much.

Disgusting. I Just Found My Grandpa's Viagra. I Swear, I Almost Puked From Eating So Many.

I Try To Write Three Jokes Every Morning, Although I Don't Know What They Are. I Write Them As Fast As I Can, Then I Put Them Away For A Month. So I Couldn't Even Tell You What They Are, Or If They're Good. I Just Assume They Weren't.