Canoe Plus Waterfall Equals I Don't Go

At The Battle Of The Bands The Loser's Always The Audience.

My Policy Is 'no Stone Throwing Regardless Of Housing Situation.'

If You Want To Feel Less Sexy Put Scotch Tape On Your Nipples.

I Travel Alone So Much, And The First Thought Is To Grab The Damn Phone. In Airports, Just Look Around. Nobody Looks At Anybody, Or Even Out The Window. It's Obvious We Can't Live Without It Anymore, And As A Comic On The Road The Phone Is An Essential Tool. It's Probably Doing More Good Than Bad For Me, But It Does Make Me Sad That Those Of Us Who Grew Up Without Mobile Phones, We Know What We're Missing.

Overheard Today In Restaurant: Can You Stop Listening To Our Conversation?