Canada Is Not The Party. Its The

There Are Rumors That There Is A John Edwards Sex Tape. People Say It's Twenty Minutes Of Edwards Caressing And Stroking...and That's Just The Part Where He Fixes His Hair.

I Used To Love Going Fishing. I Think It Was Really About The Clothes. Nothing Says Real Man Like A Vest With 38 Pockets And A Mesh Hat With Hooks In It.

Strange Star-like Object Over Oslo Right Before Obama Arrives. A Gift Of A Golden Medal Given By A Group Of Wise Men... Nah.

I Don't Drink Anymore For Cinco De Mayo. I Celebrate With Mexican Food, Or As It's Known In Mexico: 'food.'

Being An American Is Something I Wanted To Be For A Very Long Time, Probably Since I Saw The Moon Landing When I Was A Child.