But The Biggest Fake Of The Year,

The Current Tax Code Is Harder To Understand Than Bob Dylan Reading Finnegans Wake In A Wind Tunnel.

Parenting Is The Easiest Job To Get - You Just Have To Screw Up Once And It's Yours.

It Takes Zero Politically Correct People To Screw In A Lightbulb Because They Are Perpetually In The Dark.

I Had Fun Pretending To Be A Sportscaster. People Always Think That Was A Down Thing For Me. I Had The Best Job In Sports Broadcasting For Two Years.

Twitter! Never Have Lives Been Less Lived And More Chronicled!