Bombeck's Rug Rule: An Ugly Carpet Will

A Friend Doesn't Go On A Diet Because You Are Fat.

I Originate From A Family Where Sauce Is Viewed As A Refreshment.

With Boys, You Always Know Where You Stand. Right In The Path Of A Hurricane.

I Was Too Old For A Paper Route, Too Young For Social Security And Too Tired For An Affair.

I Didn't Fight My Way To The Top Of The Food Chain To Be A Vegetarian.