Blood's Not Thicker Than Money.

Always Examine The Dice.

He [groucho's Father] Had Absolutely No Training, And If You Had Ever Seen One Of His Suits, You'd Realize What An Accurate Statement That Is. You See, Pop Never Used A Tape Measure. He Didn't Believe In It. He Said He Could Just Look At A Man And Tell His Size, With The Result That Frequently He'd Make A Pair Of Pants With One Trouser Leg Seven Or Eight Inches Longer Than The Other.

The Husband Who Wants A Happy Marriage Should Learn To Keep His Mouth Shut And His Checkbook Open.

Poverty Makes People Sub-human Excess Of Wealth Makes People Inhuman

Well I Thought My Razor Was Dull Until I Heard His Speech, And That Reminds Me Of A Story That's So Dirty I'm Ashamed To Think Of It Myself.