Big Deal, So He Scored. The Last

America Was Founded By Puritans And Like It Or Not The Anti-pleasure Dogma Of Those Buckled-shoed Killjoys Still Pervades Our Collective Unconscious Like An I-max Shot Of Dennis Franz's Naked Hairy Cop Ass. Hence, Anything Enjoyable Is Automatically Forbidden And Bad And In Our Panic To Avoid It At All Cost We Become Obsessed With It... Like Dressing Up In A Pink Teddy And A Pair Of Ugboots And Repeatedly Screaming The Word 'verboten!' Into A Conk Shell Balanced On The Back On A Miniature Pony... Oh, I See.. That Would Just Be Me.

Pat Buchanan Is So Homo-phobic, He Blames Global Warming On The Aids Quilt.

I Cannot Tell You How Proud Watching That [iraqi] War Coverage Makes Me. I Know A Lot Of People Are Saying That They Think That It's, That You Know What We're Doing Is Imperialistic. I Watch The Way We Handle Ourselves Over There And I've Never Felt More Patriotic In My Life.

If You're A Man And You Have Big Tits, Don't Wear A Tight T-shirt, Okay? It Confuses The Children!

Check Out The Helmet Hair On Randy Moss, Babe! He Looks Like Some Freakish Anti-mr. T After A Long Evening Sleeping Through 'aida.'