I'm One Of The More Pessimistic Cats

I Think The American Legal System Sucks Worse Than A Celine Dion Cover Version Of Whole Lotta Love.

When I Said 'we', Officer, I Was Referring To Myself, The Four Young Ladies, And, Of Course, The Goat.

I'll Say This About The War Protesters: At Least Most Of Them Are Only Putting Duct Tape Across Their Mouths So I Can Still Tell The Rest Of Them To Blow It Out Their Ass.

The Cowboy's Defense Has More Holes In It Than Ronny Milsapp And Jose Feliciano After A Game Of Lawn Darts.

The Aclu Spent This Entire Holiday Season Protesting Public Displays Of The Nativity Scene. Yeah, That's The Problem With America Right Now: Public Displays Of Christ's Birth, That's The Problem. It's Unbelievable To Me. The Aclu Will No Longer Fight For Your Right To Put Up A Nativity Scene, But They'll Fight For The Right Of The Local Freak Who Wants To Stumble Onto The Scene And Have Sex With One Of The Sheep.