Before You Judge A Man, Walk A

As Soon As I Got Successful, The Scottish Press Started Picking On Me. It's Something They Reserve Just For Me.

If Jesus Was A Jew, How Come He Has A Mexican First Name?

I Don't Believe In Angels, No. But I Do Have A Wee Parking Angel. It's On My Dashboard And You Wind It Up. The Wings Flap And It's Supposed To Give You A Parking Space. It's Worked So Far.

I've Been A Poser For F--ing Years. I Say, Pose Your Arse Off. You Know, Have A Laugh.

So, Have You Heard About The Oyster Who Went To A Disco And Pulled A Mussel?