I Was Brought Up A Catholic, For

I've Never Done A Comedy Club In My Life. It's Weird Because I Don't Have The Same Background As Most Comics. I Don't Have A History Of Going Up And Only Doing Eight Minutes.

I’m Actually Pale Blue: It Takes Me A Week Of Sunbathing To Turn White.

If You Haven't Heard A Good Rumour By 11:00am, Start One.

The Strangest Thing Is At Tea Breaks, Or Coffee Breaks Or Lunch, You Forget You're A Zombie. And You're Talking About Politics To Somebody At The Table And You Forget That You Have A Bullet Hole In Your Forehead.

I Worry About Ridiculous Things, You Know, How Does A Guy Who Drives A Snowplough Get To Work In The Morning. ... That Can Keep Me Awake For Days.